Before She Died
by LadyExcalibur2010
Summary: An ordinary woman's life is seen through her brother's eyes in a galaxy far, far away.


I don't own anything in the galaxy far, far away. Too bad. I would love to cuddle up with my very own Obi-Wan... You might have seen this posted under another user name on another board. I am the author, just using another name. You may PM the author (VaderLVR64) on that board to make sure. I will make sure to answer! :D

**Before She Died**

_**Thirty-two years before she died...**_

A little girl was born.

Her parents cried with joy, for though they had three sons whom they loved dearly, both of them had longed for a little girl. She arrived early on a spring morning, making her entrance to the galaxy with surprising and gratifying ease.

They named the child Fianna and brought her home to meet her brothers for the first time. The three boys gathered around her, each vying for the chance to be the first to hold her. Finally, her oldest brother Markus claimed that right by virtue of his age and he held the little girl that he would love for the rest of his life.

Fianna stared up at him with wide, trusting blue eyes and in that moment, a bond formed between brother and sister. "Hello," he whispered and she smiled. Wrapping her little hand around his finger, she wrapped herself around his heart.

Though his younger brothers Darrak and Rennek soon clamored for their turns, and he reluctantly gave her back to his mother to supervise, Markus never forget that moment, for it was then that he realized for the first time that he could love someone so completely. No matter what the future might bring, they would always share a special connection – one he did not share with his brothers, though he loved them. He sensed it even as he realized that perhaps he was being foolish – or even worse, _childish_. Still, he could not believe it any less. It was simply a truth of their existence.

He would protect her from harm. He was her brother, her _oldest_ brother, almost ten years old, in fact. It would not be too long and he would be considered a man by his society's standards – that was just seven years away. Seven years would pass quickly.

He would be her guardian, her champion.

~~~~~~

_**Thirty-one years before she died…**_

Markus laughed when Fianna looked at him and clapped her hands. She had walked the whole length of the room without falling. "You did it, Fianna!" he cried and the baby girl grinned at him with triumph, drool running down her chin.

Glancing up, he saw his mother watching them, a smile on her face. "She did it, Mom," he said. "She walked all the way across the room!"

"I saw," his mother replied as she came to stand by his side. "And you helped her learn. I'm proud of you for being so patient with your little sister."

Markus glowed with pride.

Fianna toddled up to him uncertainly, holding up her arms and begging to be held. Markus leaned down and plucked her into his embrace, settling her across his legs, those useless legs that would never take him anywhere.

His younger brothers might grow impatient when he could not run and jump and play as they did, but Fianna only looked at him with adoration. _She_ saw something special in him, and he loved her for it.

"You're a big girl now, aren't you, Fianna?"

Fianna patted her brother fondly on his cheek. "Marmar," she said softly.

~~~~~~~~~~

_**Twenty-nine years before she died….**_

The little girl was squealing with delight as she ran through the garden, hot on the trail of her prey. She was chasing a kitling, determined to catch it and express her affection. The kitling, however, seemed equally determined _not_ to be caught, Markus thought.

"Hurry, Fianna!" he called out. "He's getting away!"

Spying the kitling's exit, Fianna laughed and ducked between two hedges, throwing herself with abandon at the little creature, who merely gave a swish of his tail and disappeared up into a tree. She got to her feet and stared up at the kitling, her face reflecting her bewilderment and surprise.

"He ranned away, Marmar," she said as he guided his hoverchair close to her. She pointed up to the kitling, who stared down at them with wide golden eyes, flicking his tail back and forth in irritation.

"I know, Fianna," Markus commiserated. "Just leave him alone and he'll come back down. He's scared of you; he doesn't know you just want to hold him."

Fianna frowned and blew out a breath that caused her hair to billow out in a dark cloud. "Go get him, Marmar," she commanded imperiously.

Markus laughed softly, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, Fianna, I can't." He tapped the side of his hoverchair. "This thing doesn't have a propulsion pack attached."

Her frown deepened at that, for she obviously did not understand what he had said. Seeing her confusion, Markus explained, "I can't make it fly."

She considered this for a moment and then gave the kitling one last, longing glance. "Oh…" Fianna shrugged. "That's okay," she said agreeably and climbed into his lap. "Let's go get a snack."

_**Twenty-five years before she died….**_

"What's the matter, Fi?" Markus asked as his sister as she shuffled into the kitchen.

"I hate school," Fianna grumbled as she plopped into a seat and rested her chin dejectedly on her hands. "It's stupid."

Repressing his smile, Markus parked his hoverchair beside her and reached out to ruffle her dark hair. "It's not stupid," he said. "You just had a bad day."

Fianna shook her head firmly. "Nope," she insisted. "School's stupid."

He studied her for a moment. "What's _really_ wrong, Fi?"

She was silent for a moment and then gave a shrug of her shoulders. "It's not important," she finally answered.

Markus leaned in close. "I think it's important to _you_," he said softly. "And that makes it important to me."

Fianna bit her lip and then turned to throw her arms around Markus' neck. The tears came suddenly, perhaps taking them both by surprise. Her body was trembling with the force of her sobs. "I hate boys," she wailed. "They're mean and they smell funny."

"You're right, Fi," he soothed. "We're mean and we smell funny, but we get better with age."

At last, her tears were spent and she sniffed, settling her head in the hollow of his shoulder. "Why can't all boys be nice?" she asked.

"I've asked myself the same question many times," he murmured, remembering the taunts of his childhood.

_**Twenty years before she died….**_

"I think he likes me," Fianna declared as she swept into Markus's room and threw herself on his bed, making herself at home.

Markus turned from the data pad he had been reading to grin at his sister. "Who likes you?"

"Darias," she replied. "He likes me. I know he does."

"How do you know?"

Fianna sat up, swinging her legs off the edge of his bed. "He gets really red in the face when I catch him looking at me." She sounded supremely assured.

"Maybe he's just shy," Markus pointed out.

"Or maybe he just likes me," Fianna countered with a sigh. "Yes, that's it."

"Don't torment the boy," Markus told her. "Twelve is a very difficult age if I remember correctly."

"I don't torment him," Fianna replied. "I just ignore him. He's a boy. And he's yucky."

"He's yucky?" Markus was amused at her easy dismissal of the boy she had talked about all last year.

Fianna shrugged casually, but he caught the flash of pain in her eyes. "He likes Laurali, too," she said quietly. "Maybe more than me."

Markus smiled. "Then he's a fool, Fianna."

She sighed and her shoulders slumped. "I'll never figure out boys, Markus…never."

"You figured me out pretty quickly," Markus reassured her.

"You're not a boy, Markus, you're… well, you're Markus."

"Ouch."

_**Fifteen years before she died….**_

"You look beautiful," Markus said as he watched Fianna glide down the stairs.

"Do you really think so?" she asked anxiously.

"I _know_ so."

"Thank you," Fianna said.

"Your brother's right," Mother said. "You do look lovely."

Markus turned to study their mother, who looked alarmingly pale. Their father had tried to hide the frequent trips to the medcenter, the way that Mother had started to _fade_ away, as if her energy and will was being slowly drained away. Darrak and Rennek were on their own now, so there was only him and Fianna left to see their mother's decline.

"You're as beautiful as your mother," Father said, but Markus saw the tears in his eyes.

The two men looked at each other, and Markus read a horrible truth in his father's eyes. Blinking away the tears that threatened, the thought that they would soon lose their mother, Markus turned back to Fianna.

"Now," he said, holding up his face for her kiss. "Make sure that Darias behaves like a gentleman."

Fianna rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh of exasperation. "Stop it, Markus."

There was a knock on the door and Father moved to answer it. Markus tugged on Fianna's hand. He crooked his finger and she leaned down beside him.

"By the way, brat," he whispered. "I'm pretty sure Darias _does_ like you."

Fianna giggled.

~~~~~~~~~~~

_**Ten years before she died….**_

"Ready?" Markus asked. He watched as Fianna took a deep breath and nodded.

She put her hand on his shoulder. Suddenly, she stopped and looked down at him. "Darias is a good man, isn't he?" she asked anxiously.

Markus smiled and put his hand on hers. "He's the best," he assured her. "Otherwise I wouldn't let him marry my favorite sister."

Fianna laughed in spite of her nerves. "I'm your _only_ sister," she reminded him.

"Even if I had a dozen sisters, you'd still be my favorite," he said.

Fianna bit her lip. "I miss Mom and Dad," she confessed. "I wish they could have been here today."

"They're watching," Markus said. "I know they are."

Fianna knelt down, putting them at eye-level. "Thank you…for everything," she whispered.

Their mother had died four years ago, and their father had been killed in an accident only one year later. Since then, Markus had been both father and mother to Fianna, taking on the responsibility without complaint or hesitation. Darrak and Rennek were good men, but they had their own lives, while Markus was happy to devote his to making sure Fianna had a loving home. He had never regretted his choice.

"It's been my pleasure," he said. "My joy."

Fianna nodded, tears filling her eyes.

"Come on," Markus said, his own throat feeling thick and blocked. "Let's get you married."

_**Five years before she died…**_

"I'm so sorry," Markus whispered as he brushed back her hair. Fianna's sobs were still shaking her and he glanced helplessly up at Darias.

The poor man merely shrugged, his own misery plain to see. "…got to fourteen weeks…" he said softly with the air of a man who is still trying to figure things out. "And then…"

"Then the bleeding and the pain - again," Fianna whispered. "Oh gods, it hurts – knowing we'll never -." Markus could feel her shudder against him and felt utterly useless.

"Shhh," Markus tried to soothe her. "It will be all right, you'll see."

Fianna sat up suddenly, angrily wiping away her tears. "But it won't be all right, Mar," she cried. "I've got to face facts," she said. "It won't be all right. It will _never_ be all right!"

Markus looked into her eyes, wishing he could take her pain as his own – anything to spare her this anguish. He had always been able to _fix_ her problems, but this… This was beyond his capabilities.

"I'm sorry, Fianna," he said simply. "I'm so sorry that I can't make this better for you."

Darias sat down beside his wife and she leaned into him heavily. He held her close, his expression as tender as his touch. Markus knew that his sister's husband would do his best to ease Fianna's pain. Maybe he could do what Markus could not.

"I've got _you_, Fianna," Darias said softly. "And while I would love to have a child, just having you is enough for me." He tilted up her chin and kissed her. Markus moved his hoverchair backward, reluctant to intrude on this private moment.

"You will always be enough for me," Darias said to her as Markus closed the door.

~~~~~

_**Seven months before she died….**_

"You're sure?" Markus asked in disbelief.

Fianna nodded emphatically, her emotions making her speechless – for once. At last, she settled for throwing her arms around his neck and practically squealing with happiness. Darias was shifting from foot to foot, his pride and happiness quite evident in the wide grin he wore.

"We're having a baby!" Fianna screamed in his Markus' ear.

He embraced her closely and had to blink away his own tears. "And just when you had given up hope," he teased tenderly.

Fianna stood up straight and grinned. "You know me; I never know when to call it quits."

"That's true," Markus agreed.

Darias came to stand by his wife and took her hand. "If it's a boy, we'd like to name him after you," he said almost shyly.

"You want to name him Markus?" He was shocked, pleased beyond measure, but shocked.

Fianna laughed and shook her head. "No, we want to name him _Marmar_!"

"Oh gods," Markus groaned. "You'd have to bring that up now!"

"Marmar?" Darias asked.

"It's what she called me when she was little," Markus explained with some embarrassment. "And I never want to hear that name again!"

Fianna grinned at him and Markus knew that she would address him as Marmar for _months_ to come. That was just like Fianna, he mused. She would never let him live it down. He could picture her teaching his niece or nephew to call him _Uncle_ Marmar.

He wondered if it would be so bad.

~~~~~~~

_**On the day she died ….**_

Markus had gone to visit Fianna, whose belly was heavily rounded with the child that was due to arrive any moment. Darias had left her reluctantly this morning to go to work; only Markus' solemn promise to stay at her side had induced him to leave the house.

"You look great," he said as he watched her work in her garden. She had always had an affinity for living things, while he could kill a plant in record time. Fianna had been the only living thing he had ever successfully nurtured.

Awkwardly, she got to her feet and rested one hand on the small of her back, the other on the mound of her belly. "Yeah, I'm a real looker," she mocked. "I bet I could win a Hutt beauty contest."

"You're lovely," he assured her.

She sat down on the bench with a sigh. "I'm ready for this baby to be born," she admitted. "I want to meet him or her, and finally put a face to all those kicks that have kept me awake for so many months."

"It won't be long now..." He stared up at the sky, too startled to be frightened. "What the-?"

A terrible light flashed over the perfect Alderaan sky. 


End file.
